


walk through hell

by pallidrose



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst, Book 8.5: Unlocked, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, Oneshot, Reunions, Unlocked Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pallidrose/pseuds/pallidrose
Summary: Keefe never expected to hear that voice again.
Relationships: Sophie Foster/Keefe Sencen
Comments: 14
Kudos: 54





	walk through hell

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wdy1vlH2YfDSHGC99B4Yy?si=tvrKP3ZpTCyA_kwzovkjOw

“Keefe.”

The name sent a jolt through him, and he tensed. Instinctively, he glanced from side to side, but the brick walls of the alley provided no escape route.

He wasn’t entirely sure he _should_ run, anyway. It had been years since he’d heard that voice- though not a night had passed that it hadn’t floated through his dreams.

Finally, he made up his mind, and turned around slowly.

“You can’t be here, Fos-”

She seized his collar, twisting his shirt and yanking him toward her. He choked, gasping for air. Then he caught a glimpse of her eyes, and what little breath he had left caught in his throat.

The warm brown had faded, duller now than ever, but burning with a dark fury. But those were _Sophie’s_ eyes looking back at him. Something he thought was gone from him for good.

He didn’t want those eyes to leave his life again.

“Hey, idiot _._ ”

He swallowed. She was still holding his shirt in a death grip, and it was _seriously_ making it hard to breath. That, and the way her eyes were still locked on his. “Um, hi,” he said limply, and instantly regretted it when her expression twisted.

“Really? That’s all you have to say?” She let go of him, pushing him forward, and he stumbled backward, nearly tripping on a pile of cardboard boxes. “That’s _it?_ ”

A wave of emotion slammed into him, and his knees threatened to buckle. There was so much heartache, so much anger, so much _pain_ -

He slid down against the wall, his head in his hands. One breath at a time. He couldn’t risk getting overwhelmed- couldn’t risk hurting her. He’d learned to handle human emotions after a year spent communicating in sign language, but Foster’s feelings were so much more- well- _personal_ , and he couldn’t take that chance.

When he was absolutely certain he’d pushed the emotions far enough down, he opened his eyes. Sophie stared back at him, her cheek tearstained.

“This is what you’ve been dealing with?” he asked quietly. “That’s.. that’s a lot.”

“What did you expect?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He’d imagine this scene playing out a million times, but now that it was happening, he had no idea what to say.

“Look, Foster, I’m-”

“You’re what? _Sorry?_ That’s not good enough, Keefe! _It’s not good enough!”_

He debated staying silent, then decided there wasn’t much he could do to make things worse. “What can I do?”

She shook her head. “I just- why would you go? We could have handled things together! We could have made it work! You’re speaking to me again- obviously you figured _something_ out. Either that or you just don’t care anymore.”

The words were like a stab in the gut. “I’ll _always_ care. No matter what you think.”

“That’s getting harder and harder to believe. You _left_ me. You left me and Dex and Fitz-” She tripped on the last name. “Dex was a mess. He felt like a failure, like he wasn’t enough. I- I was so afraid of what he might do- and _Fitz-_ ” She broke off again, and Keefe frowned.

“Fitz stepped up, right? He- you two- he was there for you?”

“Really? You’re asking about my love life?”

“That’s not what I-”

“I know.” She folded her arms, hugging herself. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We didn’t get the chance to talk about it. We… we ran out of time.” She looked away, toward the street crossing in front of the alleyway and Keefe noticed it had begun to rain.

It was the least of his concerns as a new wave of emotions rolled off of Sophie, none of them good. But this time, what stood out among the others was… _grief_.

Keefe’s eyes widened, and the whole world seemed to fall still. “No. _No._ ”

Sophie fixed him with those lifeless eyes. “I didn’t tell him what you put in the letter. Not about… caring about me. But I think he knew anyway.”

“I should have been there,” Keefe whispered. “He’s- he was my best friend.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Biana… is she...”

“It… wasn’t easy,” Sophie admitted. “For any of us. Della and Biana left Everglen. They’ve been staying at Havenfield for now. I think Fitz was the only thing keeping them with Alden.”

He ran his tongue over his lips, tears burning behind his eyes. “How long..?”

“A few months.”

 _A few months._ Fitz had been gone- _dead_ \- for months, and he hadn’t had the slightest inkling.

Then an even worse realization took root in his mind.

“It- it wasn’t _her,_ was it? My mom? She didn’t… she wouldn’t...”

Sophie said nothing, and Keefe swore, every drop of grief turning to bright red rage.

“I’ll kill her,” he muttered. “I’ll _kill_ her.”

She knelt before him, reaching out to take his hand, then drawing back. “Is it safe to-”

“Who knows.” He grimaced. “Better not risk it.”

“Oh.” She pursed her lips. “I was going to tell you- it’s a little too late for that.”

“Too late for what?”

“Your mom- she didn’t make it, either.” She hesitated. “I- I don’t know how to-”

“Is there anyone else?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Did other people get hurt? Is anyone else dead?”

“Well, Tiergan was unconscious for a few days, and Juline has some scars, but- Keefe, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I don’t care about my mom. Not after what she did to Fitz. Not after what she did to _any_ of us. Including you.”

Sophie’s brow creased, and Keefe almost smoothed it with his finger. Then he remembered- _no risks-_ and left his hand resting on the ground at his side.

“What did Gisela ever do to me?”

“She took Fitz from you. You guys- you were meant for so much together. You deserved each other.”

Sophie blinked, then shook her head slowly, an inscrutable expression spreading across her face. Her emotions were just as hard to read.

She got to her feet. “You _moron._ You absolute _moron._ ”

The rain was coming harder now, splashing on the pavement, pattering on the rooftops.

“Foster…?”

She cut across him, raising her voice to a yell, and the sound echoed off the alley walls. “ _Yo_ _u just don’t get it, do you?_ ” 

“Foster- _Sophie-_ ”

“I didn’t _want_ Fitz like that anymore!” she yelled. “ _I love you!_ _Get that through your head already!_ ”

_I love you._

The amount of times Keefe had imagined those words falling from her mouth-

But this wasn’t his imagination anymore.

This was _real_.

And he didn’t know what to say to this, either.

“Fitz died knowing that both of us gave up on him.” She was breathing hard. “We get the happy ending he didn’t. And you don’t even have the guts to _acknowledge_ it.”

“We don’t have a happy ending.” It was the first thing he’d said since those three words, and he immediately regretted it.

But that didn’t make it less true.

“I can’t touch you. Even being _around_ you is still dangerous. And the Neverseen- or whatever’s left of it- is still after me.”

“No, they aren’t. That’s what I came to tell you. The war is over, Keefe. We _beat_ them. It cost us, and we had to do it without you, but we beat them. You can come home.”

“I don’t think I even know what that means anymore. And besides- I can’t go back. I can’t face Biana. I left her brother, and- I can’t. Not yet.”

“Biana,” she repeated. “You can’t face _Biana_.” She stepped backward, taking a leaping crystal from her pocket. “You are a coward, Keefe Sencen. You can stay here or come back. I don’t care. Just stay far, _far_ away from me.”

“Wait- Foster-” He reached for her shoulder, then pulled back, hesitating. She seized the opportunity and turned on her heels, bolting out into the street. He only made it a few steps after her when she stopped, lifted the crystal into the air, and gave him one last black look as she fizzled away.

And just like that, she was gone again.

He fell to the sidewalk, his head between his knees. The rain drummed on his shoulders, soaking him to the bone.

Four words looped over and over in his head, four words he’d waited years to say, and yet had remained caged inside him when the time came.

_I love you, too._


End file.
